I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
Randomize
