rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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