sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
Randomize
