you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
Randomize
