..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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