all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
Randomize
