I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
