Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
Randomize
