I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
