We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
