Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
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