First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
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