You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
