Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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