Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
