He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
When are your genitals available?
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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