Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
Randomize
