All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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