My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
