The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Randomize