Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
Randomize
