im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
