So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
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