i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
you inspire me to be a worse person
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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