I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
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