Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
