I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
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