i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
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