She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
Randomize
