WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
