Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
Someone came in the potted fern
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
Randomize
