Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Randomize
