How'd it feel making her break her religion?
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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