is your mom at the bar?
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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