Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
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