i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Randomize
