just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
Randomize
