if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
This can only be settled by a dance off.
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize
