AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
