grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Randomize