Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
You pole danced in your parka.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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