I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize