so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
