Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Randomize