i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize
