Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
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