Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
sex in a hospital.. check
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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