I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
