4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize