i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
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