the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
Randomize
