why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize