distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
Randomize
