thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
its not stalking. its research.
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Randomize
