If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
Randomize
