Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
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