dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Randomize
