South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
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