Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
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