operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
