just survived the first fart of the relationship.
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
You left your phone here
Wait...
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